The Secret Sauce of Leadership (Spoiler: It’s Not a Spreadsheet)

Here’s a leadership truth that feels pretty counter-cultural these days: caring for your people isn’t something extra. It’s the whole deal.

I know, I know. We love our to-do lists. We color-code them. We add things we’ve already done just so we can check them off. But caring? For not just knowing about our people but actually knowing them? Who has time for that? But here the rub - that’s the part of leadership that transforms a team from “getting things done” to “changing lives together.” If you are a leader who professes to follow the teachings of Jesus, or you are leading a team of unpaid professionals, i.e. volunteers, this is triple true for you. 

When we care for our people well, we reflect Christ’s heart — and that’s where the real power is. Jesus didn’t lead by barking orders or managing tasks. He led with compassion. With a depth of empathy we can’t comprehend in today’s “every man for himself” culture. People followed Him because they first felt seen and loved, not because He had the best meeting agenda, the most tweet-worthy quotes, or the most small talk charisma. Before they ever wanted to do anything for Jesus, they wanted to be with Jesus because of how he made them feel.

Here’s the thing: most people didn’t join your organization because they wanted to do more. They joined because they wanted to belong somewhere. They wanted to connect with others who were equally passionate about your mission. But passion will only energize people so long if they aren’t cared for. This is what makes the Jesus-model of leadership so counter-cultural today. Compassion and care over tasks. People over performance. This is one small reflection of the upside-down kingdom of God. Working in a world that celebrates hustle and performance, slowing down to actually care for people? That’s basically an act of holy rebellion.

Now, you’ve probably heard this quote before: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” It’s been credited to everyone from Theodore Roosevelt to your grandma, but whoever said it first nailed it. Leadership isn’t about titles or checklists; it’s about influence. And influence grows when people feel valued.

Here’s the beautiful chain reaction: when your people feel cared for, they’ll naturally care for others. It creates a culture of compassion that is life-changing for your members and future-changing for your organization.  Why? Because when people feel cared for, they’ll go above and beyond — not because they have to, but because they want to. And that’s where the magic happens. As the old Army mantra goes - I will fight to death not for the cause, but for my brother or sister in the foxhole next to me who I know would do the same for me. I care about them and they care about me. 

So how do we actually show we care? Two easy ways to start.

1. Start meetings with real check-ins, not just checklists. Ask your people how life is really going. If you are worried about time, ask each person to share their top prayer request that’s overwhelming their heart right now.  Write down these prayer requests and create a culture of follow up! And if someone shares something really heavy, don’t be afraid to stop and pray for them right then in the moment. Its powerful and extremely meaningful to that hurting friend.  Remember, not everyone wants to pray, but everyone is willing to be prayed for.

2. Celebrate small wins, speak encouragement, and be the first to share something honest about your own life, including personal failures or disappointments. Vulnerability builds trust, and trust builds teams. Your language and tone matters, so keep it positive and self-reflective. When someone shares something tender, thank them for their bravery in sharing it out loud. Go first and model what it sounds like to both give and receive encouragement from others. 

Why take all this soft-hearted effort when its far easier to send out a solid task list or loudly bark orders at people? Because in the end, if we claim to know Jesus, or simply care about those we work with, caring has to be more than something we do. It must become who we are.  If someone told you that empathy is a weakness, they’re a liar. Jesus began and ended with care and empathy and so should we. Not so sure? Don’t take my word for it -  Crack open those Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) and take a look for yourself. I think you’ll find those red words to feel incredibly countercultural from what you hear and feel around you today. And that, my friends, is why its so incredibly powerful and the secret sauce to leadership in today’s world.