Go Ahead, Make Their Day

The surprisingly rare art of actually saying, and doing, the kind thing.

I got two unexpected Facebook messages from strangers this week, and both stopped me in my tracks.

The first was from a woman who lives here on WSMR. She wrote, “Thank you for a great block party last night. My 5th grader came home raving about how awesome it was. In the 3 years we’ve lived here, I don’t recall seeing such united participation across the command group.”

Now before you picture tents, themed décor, and a DJ with flashing lights and smoke machine… let me clarify what this “awesome block party” actually was. I simply asked the three other families who live on our street if we could all stand outside to hand out candy on Halloween instead of hiding inside and waiting for doorbells to ring. One neighbor brought a light up skeleton, I brought a speaker for Halloween music, another lit a fire pit, and then we all stood around for a couple hours with bowls of candy and our own two feet. No master plan. No group text with a sign-up for snacks and a Pinterest board. Just neighbors outside at the same time.

“It was refreshing and I just wanted to express my gratitude,” she said.

The second message came a few days later from woman I interacted with back in September, during our first day at MOMCON (the annual convention for The MomCo, the organization I work for):

“I just want to say thank you. Thank you for noticing me when I arrived and we met in the hall of the hotel. You mentioned my haircut! I think about it often, even here at home. We never talked, but your eyes and those few words did something in my heart.”

My friends… that was over FIVE weeks ago.

I don’t even remember the moment she’s describing. What I do remember is that every hotel hallway and room I walked into was jam packed full of women, and I’m sure I was just attempting to be friendly to someone else trying to navigate a huge, confusing hotel in the middle of a week full of crazy scheduling conflicts, work obligations and uncomfortable travel bowels. Truly, it felt like nothing more than a passing comment.

I share these messages not to toot my own horn—quite the opposite. I share them because they reminded me how tiny actions can land as huge moments for someone else. A friendly face. A quick compliment. A little music and a lawn chair on the driveway so you’re available to meet the people who live 12 feet away from you.

I’m learning (slowly, repeatedly) that the “big” things rarely create the biggest impact. It’s the small stuff—the unplanned, unpolished, no-overthinking-required gestures—that end up sticking.

Back in September at MOMCON, I walked around with my mini microphone and asked about 100 women one simple question:

“What’s something really kind someone has said to you?”

This year one of our MomCo theme tenets is Speak Kindness, and since every woman at MOMCON could probably recite those tenets in her sleep, I expected 100 quick, heart-melting answers for an easy video.

Can you guess how many women could recall a kind word someone had spoken to them?

Ten.

Ten out of a hundred.

Ninety women awkward-laughed, looked up to the ceiling for inspiration, or apologized for not being able to think of a single compliment someone had given them. “This shouldn’t be so hard!” many of them said—and they were right. It shouldn’t.

But those ten who did have an answer? They didn’t hesitate. Those kind words were sitting right at the top of their memory, like a gem they pull out often just to feel its magic again. Not because the compliment had just happened—but because it mattered so deeply that they stored it close to their hearts for safekeeping.

What I thought would be a fun feel-good montage became something else entirely: a reminder that kind words are powerful partly because of how rare they are.

So here’s the challenge I’ve been giving myself—and I’m officially inviting you to join me:

Say the kind words. Do the small, kind thing.

Say/do it right when you think of it.

Text the friend who pops into your mind.
Compliment the stranger’s jacket, haircut, or positive attitude.
Hold the door.
Smile big enough to crinkle your eyes.
Sit outside on your front step and say hello to the people who pass by.

Stop waiting for the someday grand gesture when the moment is right and the stars are aligned and you finally have the energy, time, and emotional capacity (translation: never). Break that big block of love into a thousand tiny pieces of everyday kindness—and give them away like shiny pennies.

Because in the heavy, anxious, cynical world we’re living in, your kind words will sparkle like diamonds—and in the heart of the person who receives them, they may become just as precious.

And the best twist of all?
Kindness doesn’t just fill someone else’s cup.
It fills yours too.

Try it this week. Then come back and tell me what happened. I can’t wait to hear your stories.